August 19, 2011

Sites to Share

I just wanted to share two great sites I found recently: -- which is a Brooklyn based site, but has all kinds of support and information for Gay families (both TTC/adoption and already parenting).

-and- -- which is the blog from Cori + Kacy (for all those "The Real L Word" watchers out there) who are currently in the TTC process. I think its awesome that a "celesbian" couple is TTC because I think it will really help to raise awareness and unite the lesbian community!

Hope everyone is well :)

June 24, 2011



What a crazy, amped-up, emotional rollercoaster these past two weeks have been. But after a LOT of work and essentially BEGGING the Senate to vote on this bill, they passed it and New York has gay marriage!!


April 28, 2011

Still Here

Since I've gotten a couple of comments, I wanted to update to say we're still here!

We have done a lot of discussing, researching, the usual in the way of babymaking...but there's just so much ELSE going on right now that I can't seem to find anything particularly compelling to blog about (as it relates to having a kid anyway). But I do still read everyone else's blog and comment as much as I can!

Thanks for checking in with us :)

February 17, 2011

Mom & MIL vs. Home-births

Even though it's gonna be a while before I try to get pregnant, I've done a lot of research about home-birth and birthing centers. A LOT. I feel pretty well informed about midwifery, doulas, and all that comes along with a non-traditional (read: hospital) birth. That being said, in recent conversations regarding family members giving birth I've mentioned that I am highly, if not exclusively, interested in having an alternative birth plan. I feel very strongly against the medicalization of pregnancy and fear-based birthing that tends to take place in hospital settings.

Well holy crap!

Both my Mom and Pru's literally freaked out. They immediately and vehemently protested this idea and launched into the always clever "but what if something goes wrong and you're not near a neo-natal unit?!" argument. I tried to explain that a good midwife would never attempt to deliver a "high-risk" pregnancy at home and in the event something went wrong, they'd be more than happy to transfer delivery to a hospital setting LONG before it became an issue. I also mentioned that statistically, midwives have excellent track records and low death-rates among both infants and mothers and significantly less c-sections, particularly when compared against For-Profit hospitals.

They heard about, oh... 0% of what I said.
I don't think I'll be mentioning this again for a long time...

Anyone else have people freak out when they brought up a birth plan in a setting other than a hospital??

January 21, 2011


Right now we live in the ass-end of Brooklyn. Well, not Coney Island ass-end, but pretty south. It takes Pru an hour to get to work every day (at best). Annoying. So for that, and several other, reasons- we've decided to move. But for anyone that has any experience trying to nail down a decent apartment in the greater NYC area, you know that its...difficult. We're considering using a broker this time because Pru's sister found a great place in Bay Ridge through one, but we're struggling with the idea of paying someone to do something we technically can do ourselves. On the other hand, its a MASSIVE hassle and having help would be a godsend. We're not looking to move into Manhattan, but just a part of Brooklyn closer to Manhattan so we can shorten that damn commute. Oy. This should be fun. Wish us luck!

Oh, and here's a picture of my handsome boy, Sir Ringo:

How cute is this guy?!?!

January 12, 2011

Purposeful Conception?

I stumbled upon this site today, entitled "Purposeful Conception" and I just had to laugh. A lot. Because, really, as lesbians- do we have any other choice? Everything we do from the moment we realize we want to have children is 100% purposeful, if not emphatically so. Although I DO think its great that straight people are attempting to conceive with more care and intent, its kind of sad to realize that to do so is considered somewhat "enlightened" or better than those that don't take the time to gain knowledge about preparing your life and body for reproduction.

I think straight couples could learn a whole lot from the lesbians! Maybe we should start our own website on purposeful conception? 

January 07, 2011


Everything about this makes me shake my head. I just don't get it...

Woman Unaware of Pregancy Gives Birth-
The story of Jessica Genaw is truly an unusual one; almost an unbelievable one – she gave birth to a healthy 7 pound 10 ounce baby boy on New Year’s Eve, without being aware of her pregnancy all throughout her pregnancy. Genaw was taking birth control pills right throughout her pregnancy and was unaware that she had conceived. On the day that the baby was due to arrive, she said that she just felt really sick all day, and then started having really bad stomach cramps.  Then the cramps got really bad and she thought a bath would offer some relief. However the cramps got worse and she got the feeling that she really had to push!  She then called 911 and when the paramedics arrived, they had to break into the house since Genaw was not able to get out of the bath. It was only when she was in the ambulance that she realized she was in labor. Once at the hospital, all it took was one push to get baby out!

While this is a truly exceptional case, it is not unheard of that women don’t come to know about a pregnancy until later, since they exhibit few or no signs of it; even continuing to have normal periods throughout their pregnancy!


January 05, 2011

Holidays, baby, and a lot of rambling

Man, holidays are crazy! I love them, though. We had a blast with both families and I'm pretty sad its already over :(

My beautiful cousin had her beautiful daughter, healthy and perfect, as planned- on December 17th. Since I barely ever get to my hometown, I was given the privilege of holding the baby for the WHOLE TIME we were celebrating Christmas at my cousin's house. It wasn't long, since she was recovering from a c-section, but for that two hours, I was in baby-love heaven. Heaven! It definitely made my womb throb with longing, but I also felt pangs of fear. This is the first time I've held a newborn since we began seriously discussing/researching having children and my perspective into babies has changed. I still love them and want some for myself, but holding that little girl and envisioning her as my own brought a wave of "holy shit if I have one of these, I actually have to take care of it, keep it alive, and not ruin its life. whoa!" and for a moment, I wanted to hand her back and run the other way. I didn't, but the point is- reality hit me like a ton of bricks.

I also had the chance to have a wonderful discussion with my cousin about babies. Pru and I got stuck upstate while NYC was hit with a rather ridiculous amount of snow, so we took that opportunity to sneak more baby oogling time. While my cuz folded a whole lot of baby/toddler laundry, she started asking us about having our own kiddos (she insists we have them immediately so her kids have cousins their age, similar to all of the cousins our age). As much as I want to grant her wish, its just not realistic right now.

After joking about that for a while, she starting asking us the more serious questions- egg? sperm? uterus?- you know, the tricky stuff lesbians have to navigate in order to spawn. She was genuinely interested and obviously wanted to show her support. She listened as I explained just about everything I understand regarding lesbian conception and asked more questions. It was great! I totally didn't feel like she was being nosy/fascinated with lesbo reproduction. By the end, I felt so...grateful. It was wonderful to learn that a family member is so supportive and interested. My family has historically been pretty lame in the way of acceptance, but have made unbelievable leaps and bounds towards changing.

Furthermore, my cousin is the only family member I have who is non-white. My Aunt got knocked up by a Mexican soldier when she was twenty(ish) and it was NOT well received by the family. My cousin was basically this colored bastard child no one wanted...until she was born and then, well, its hard not to love a chubby cutesy ball of happy. With time, everyone chilled out and my cousin was raised with much love. However, her halfy status was literally NEVER mentioned. I didn't even find out until I was much older (sidenote: how ignorant am I to not notice my cousin doesn't look totally white? I still dont really see it and it absolutely cracks Pru up. The power of denial, folks). I don't even remember how I found out.

Anyway, this whole race experience/discovery has given me basically the only insight I have into how my family receives "minorities." This, naturally, has me mildly panicked about how they'll respond to our future half-Korean children. Even if they had a tantrum and disowned me, I'm still having halfies, but it will make things....kinda shitty. My cousin and sister reassured me that no one will care, but what exactly does "care" mean? Not hate? Tolerate? Celebrate? Ignore?  There's a lot of gray area within the phrase "they won't care." Hmm. I will eventually have more conversations about this, but for now I'm just trying to get a sense of how my more accepting family members feel about it.

Well this is long-winded. I'm done.

Except...congratulations to the new babies and BFPs out there in the blogosphere! I'm so happy for you gals!!!!