Thermometer Question

I'm a little confused- are you supposed to chart to the 10th (97.2) or 100th (97.24) degree? I found a thermometer online that had good reviews, but it only charts to the 10th and I remember reading (online? in a book? eh, somewhere) that BBT charting needs to be to the 100th degree.

Anyone know which is correct? What do/did y'all use?

New Lesbian Pregnancy Blog Launch

I don't know if anyone else has stopped by Lesbian Lifestyle recently, but according  to this post they are preparing a new blog specifically addressing lesbian pregnancies. Its set to launch next month and they're currently looking for lesbians and lesbian couples to send in their stories to share. I don't know how it will all turn out in the end, but I think the concept is great! The online community is a powerful one and anything that makes it easier for us to find each other is awesome. I will definitely be on the lookout for the launch!

Reflection: Article on Gestational Environments

Yesterday morning I received my weekly T.IME magazine and right on the cover is a (beautiful) picture of a very naked, very pregnant woman. Naturally, I was intrigued and immediately flipped to the story. Its a pretty good article centered around the field of fetal origins- which asserts that the first nine months of gestation and the conditions we experience in-utero contribute to the most consequential period in our lives. Basically the whole idea is that everything the mother encounters while pregnant (the air she breathes, what she eats/drinks, the chemicals she's exposed to, her emotions) sends information (which they refer to as "bio.logical postcards") from the world outside the womb- letting the fetus prepare for what is to come once they are born.

Overall, this is not shocking news.  And if I know my readers at all, I know most (if not ALL) of you have done tons of research on how to provide the best fetal environment possible. But unfortunately, I think that is the exception rather than the rule as far as expectant mothers are concerned. I bet we all know some straight women who "accidentally" got pregnant, right? How many of those women do you honestly think were already taking pre-natal vitamins, altering their nutritional intake, exercising, and limiting/ceasing exposure to things like smoking, drinking, etc? Yeah, probably not many. Just saying.

The article focuses on the big health issues- cancer, heart disease, obesity, diabetes, and mental illness (specifically schizophrenia and depression). What I found interesting was how pre-natal behaviors can affect fetal genetics. We all know we're genetically predisposed to certain things that "run in the family" and for the most part, we accept that as our doomed fate. What this article proposes, however, is that "fate" may not be as final as we thought. Their research suggests that by altering the fetal environment (through a process known as epi.genetic modification), women can influence their babies genetics.  Pretty intriguing information for those of us who get half our kids DNA from a donor, eh?

For example, obese women who got pregnant post-weight loss surgery gave birth to children that had faster metabolisms than their siblings conceived pre-surgery, when their mothers were still obese. This goes beyond your basic nature/nurture school of thought and suggest that the intrauterine environment is a "third pathway" by which we are shaped. There was a similar study done on the Pima Indians (who experience a grossly disproportionate incidence of diabetes among their population) in which scientists recognize that by severely controlling the mother's sugar levels during pregnancy, they could greatly reduce the risk of passing along the disease to their children. Additionally, there were two studies done which linked starvation and high-stress levels during pregnancy to the development of schizophrenia and depression.

The article goes on to say that if given this information, women may be more likely to take pre-natal behavior seriously because they wouldn't feel so helpless to genetics. I agree with that as much as I don't. I think education is always a powerful factor in creating change, but I also think women tend to be egocentric and self-entitled when they're pregnant, believing that their own comfort level and autonomy should take precedence over how their behavior affects a developing fetus.

For me, however, I will do anything and everything possible to ensure that my future child is given the best start to life. I don't want to spend all nine months (and the time spent ttc) worrying about every little thing I encounter, but I do believe there are many basic, important changes a woman can make to create a safe and healthy fetal environment. For someone with DNA riddled with heart disease, diabetes, & mental illness, and a partner who's adopted and thus unaware of their hereditary, I am thrilled to learn that my child is not helpless to these diseases just because of their genes.


(source: Oct 4, 2010 T.IME Magazine)

Fear of: Multiples.

As mentioned earlier, I adore the Gosselin children. They really are adorable, but to be honest- the thought of having eight kids is nothing short of terrifying, especially having six at once. Insanity.

So all this adoration of other-people's-kids got me thinking about multiples. Prudence and I will more likely than not be jumping right onto the IVF wagon since we really want to use her eggs and my uterus. She's not too keen on the idea of being preggo (whereas I really want to get knocked up) and we agree it would be incredible for our children to have both our genes. So if all goes well, our future children will be conceived in a petri dish with my brother's sperm and Pru's eggs. And while that sounds fun and fancy (and admittedly, kinda weird) written down, I know it will be a bumpy and complicated process. I also know that IVF has a much higher rate of multiples. Enter mild (and premature) panic attack.

When discussing the possibilities of multiples, Pru said very calmly, "I bet we'll have triplets." Umm, what? I asked her to elaborate and she just replied, "I dunno....its just a feeling I have- that when we get pregnant, we'll have triplets." I don't know how accurate her instincts are, but thats a scary thought. I'd love three kids. But not at once. Twins, maybe. But triplets? That sounds dangerous. I already have an overload of pregnancy anxiety, I can't even imagine how that would skyrocket with the discovery of multiples floating around in there.

From what I understand about recent developments in IVF, doctors are beginning to veer away from the idea of transferring a lot of embryos, specifically in women under 35 (like me). I've also read about minimal stimulation IVF (or just Mini-IVF) which requires less drugs (and sometimes none if you go the "natural" route) and decreases the risk of multiples. Apparently its more along the lines of natural ovulation, where they start by giving you a C.lomid pill to take for about a week (they don't suppress the pituitary beforehand with Lup.ron like normal IVF)  followed by a "booster" of gonado.tropin and then they retrieve a few high-quality eggs. And as an added bonus, its also several thousand dollars cheaper.

The pros are obvious: less drugs, money, and risk. The cons are also pretty obvious: its newer, so the success rate is probably still not clear; plus you run into the issue of not having extra embryos if it doesn't work. In the long run, it could potentially cost more to do the "cheaper" ivf.  On the other hand, if you don't have any problems with ovulating or getting those embryos to stick, you might hit the baby jackpot right away and be $10,000 richer for it.  Hmmm.... what a conundrum.

Also Known As...

Upon discovering the wonderful world of lesbian TTC/family blogs, I immediately decided that we needed one.  The support is amazing and I am the type who really benefits from writing stuff down.  I mentioned this idea to my partner and she thought it was a great idea- thus "Project Buddha Baby" was created.  We already have another blog tracking the daily adventures of our life, but its available to family and friends so we use our real names.  However, we don't want people to stumble upon this blog while google-ing and suddenly discover all our deepest TTC secrets.  Awkward.  Eventually we will probably share this or start another baby blog for "real-life" friends, but until then- we've decided to use aliases.  After a short brainstorming session, we voted upon a Beatles' theme.  So for the duration of our anonymity, we will be happily known as "Lucy" (myself, the main blogger, and owner of future womb of Buddha baby) and "Prudence" (my partner, co-blogger, and othermother of said baby...which btw is also a nod to her asian-ness, from the movie "Across the Universe").

All You Need is Love.

Letter From the President

I just read this post about sending birth announcements to the President. Apparently, if you do- they send back a cute little letter like this one here and here.. what a great idea!  We will definitely have to keep that idea in the back of our heads for the future.  Well...if the President is still a Democrat, anyway :)

Maybe Kate can spare one?

The Gosselin children are adorable.  Like, I can't even stand how cute they are!  I've followed the show on and off for a few years now (mostly because they're a interracial white/asian couple like us!), but just began watching older seasons via Netflix.  I totally admire Kate for all she does- I mean, it was crazy enough with the twins and sextuplets, but when you add on all the marriage drama and media storm...it gets even crazier.  Watching older episodes is making me realize that Jon & Kate weren't all that compatible to begin with, really.  Their personalities are totally opposite and while that can sometimes work out to be complementary- in their case, I think its mostly just clashing.  But I digress...

Prudence and I were watching season 2 the other day and we both constantly exclaimed how awesomely cute this little kids are. They are obviously part Asian, but we weren't sure which nationality.  I heard through some (misinformed) grapevine that Jon was half-Pacific Islander.  Um, fail.  About 5 minutes after I tell Pru this, Jon proceeds to talk about how he is in fact half-Korean.  What?!  Awesome!  So here we are, falling over ourselves over these cutie pie kids and it turns out they're quarter-Korean!  It honestly made me love them all that much more!  I cannnot wait to have my own (though mine will be halfiies) part-asian kids!  In fact, maybe Kate can spare one... :)

Here's a pic of the ridiculously cute sextuplets from this season:

And here's all of the kids from a while back:

Prepping the Body for Baby

I always knew that I wanted to have children. For many years I also assumed it would be something to happen just because I wanted it to. I was understandably naive to the troubles and drama of TTC. Within the last year, as my uterus started aching for babies, I began doing preliminary "research" on fertility, pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting (including following other lesbian TTC/family blogs- which are SO helpful its insane). Upon reading said literature, I realized that just having a kiddo by sheer force of will was impossible. I also realized that just having a kiddo on the first try was not likely. This was admittedly disappointing...

However, it also opened my eyes to the importance of preparing for a baby- not just emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and (of course) financially- but also physically. I've been chubby for the past decade and let's face it- college is not exactly a model of healthy living. Though I don't drink/smoke/etc anymore, I realize that those habits aren't the only ones worth breaking. Its a much more holistic picture that I need to be looking at- quite literally, head-to-toe. So I sat down and really started pondering the best way to approach a new, healthier life.

In February I joined Weight Watchers online and have since lost 60-ish pounds and several dress sizes (yay!). Starting in June, Prudence and I also began a training program called "Couch to 5k" and completed our first 5k race just this past Sunday (also, yay!). My life has reached a turning point and I know there's no turning back. At this point we're training for a 10k and my clothes just keep getting baggier. The way we eat is drastically different. For about 2 years now, we've been trying to "eat healthier" but we honestly had no idea what that meant. Through WW and a LOT of reading, reading, reading....I was able to really get a sense of what should be going in my body.

With that being said, my goal is to spend the next 2 years doing everything I can to create the healthiest body possible before trying to get preggo. I realize that won't guarantee instant success, full-term babies, easy pregnancy, seamless labors, or even a healthy babe...but I will feel much more at ease knowing I spent my time before, during, and after this experience actively taking care of my body.

Baby Names

Considering the fact that we are VERY far away from TTC, I probably don't need to be bothering myself with baby names.  But I can't help it!  So I decided to start making lists.  Here are some names I really like, grouped by gender, and in alphabetical order:

GIRLS:
Daniela, Hannah, Helena, Julia, Katie, Lauren, Lena, Lucy, Norah, Raina, Shannon, Sydney, Taryn, Tegan

NEUTRAL:
Avery, Dakota, Hadley, Hayden, Kennedy, Logan, Payson, Reese, Regan, Riley, Spencer

BOYS:
Aaron, Adam, Aiden, Brady, Caleb, Collin, Connor, Donovan, Gavin, Jacob, Keiran, Lachlan, Landon, Logan, Lucas, Noah

2013

I had originally mentioned beginning TTC in 2014.  I think that may no longer be the case.  Pru is pretty certain she'll be done with graduate school by 2012 and we want to get married in the fall of that year as well.  Since my last blog post, we've talked a LOT more about starting a family and it would seem both of us are in favor of starting sooner, rather than later.  So hopefully we're looking at a 2013 start to our 'project'!  Its only a year difference, but thats a heck of a lot of time for my biological clock! The plan is still the same as far as IVF and we know money will be...an issue.  But we also figure there's ultimately no price too high to pay for a family, right? This is very exciting news, indeed.

Tick Tock

I really want children. Like, REALLY want them.

I suppose my biological clock is ticking away, and has been for a few months now. Prudence seems a lot less into this than I am right now.  I guess that makes sense since she's 3 years younger than I am.  At 24, my womb wasn't exactly calling out to me either yet.  Plus she's really focused on grad school right now, which takes up a lot of her time and energy.  I, however, have virtually nothing to do.  I just sit at home all day and daydream about the future.  I do that because its all I have!  The present is painfully uneventful and a constant reminder of how completely lame my life is right now.  Deep down I know that this slump is temporary, but that doesn't stop me from feeling hopeless from time to time.  Everything that I want- career, house,  SUV, dogs, children, picket fence- seems way too far away.

Realistically, its probably a few years away. Pru started graduate school and she'll finish within 1-1.5 years.  I'm hoping to start a Program in Exercise Science NEXT fall, which would take me about the same amount of time.  That would put us completely done with school by the end of 2012 (barring any apocalyptic tragedies), meaning we could probably land some jobs in the 'Burbs and be ready to make babies by 2014.

3.5 years.

Yikes, that seems SO far away!!!!!!!!

Project Buddha Baby

This is a blog that I'm starting in (very) early anticipation of starting a family with my partner, Prudence.  She's 100% Korean and had these adorable chubby cheeks as a child, which earned her the nickname "Buddha Baby."  We want half-Korean kiddos, so we're hoping to eventually get our very own chubby-cheeked "Buddha Babies"!!!

Perhaps it seems insensitive and a little strange to refer to this journey as a "project" but seeing how we're lesbians who want to have assisted IVF (her egg, my bro's sperm, my uterus) I can't imagine it being anything less than a project!

Here's to a fun, exciting, overwhelming, and (hopefully) short journey to Mommyhood!

(and here's the perfect onesie for our future children:)