November 04, 2010

Perspective

I received an awesome, well though-out comment from blogland friends over at Dos Baby Mamas that really had me pondering the way I'm viewing my current situation (thank you!).  Though I still recognize the validity of my frustration and loneliness, I realize that there are other perspectives to be considering as well. For example, the obvious luxuries of being childless.

Its true Pru works crazy hours now, but the short time we spend together is JUST us. I have her (mostly) undivided attention. She does homework and stuff for work, but I'm generally with her in the same room, reading or watching tv. Although we're not interacting constantly, we're still spending time together. We also have our new pup, but he's relatively low maintenance and for the most part his schedule revolves around us, not vice versa. Not to mention the fact that we can just leave him home alone when we need to run errands. With a baby? Yeah, notsomuch.

I also get to do pretty much as I please during the day. Yeah being unemployed SUCKS, but its also a golden opportunity that not many people get. If I want to sleep in, nap, or be gone all day- its my choice. If I just feel like sitting on my butt catching up on the DVR, no problem. If I want to go out for a run, I am free to go. If I want to cover the entire kitchen table with craft supplies and focus on a project all day, I really just need to put dog food down in the morning and make sure to walk Ringo twice a day. He does not require my undivided attention by any means. A baby would most definitely need me to be focused on him/her all day!

In her comment, A (or K?) mentioned travel as well. This is a very important factor for us. Pru and I LOVE to travel. So far we've only been on long weekend trips, but we have big plans to travel both in and out of the U.S. Having a baby in tow would drastically change the way we do that (if not making it completely impossible!). And even for short, impromptu trips- a baby would make things pretty difficult. When we recently traveled to my hometown for the funeral, we took Ringo along. It was quite a pain to make sure we had all our things plus the surprising amount of crap a dog needs for a 7 hour car ride and 3 nights in a strange place. Then there's the fact that I normally just do whatever and go wherever I want when I'm back home. If my Mom and sister want to go shopping allllll day? Sure! I'm in. With Ringo? Well, no. He simply cannot stay in his crate all day. I love him, but on that weekend I seriously wanted to scream!

I could go on and on (and on...) about this. But my point has been made. There are lots of things I can be grateful and happy about right now. I'm only 27 and I've got time to do all the things I want to. And I know that what I don't want to do is be the person that spends their whole life waiting for the next step.

Once I have a kid its entirely possible I will look back on my ranting and whining and think, "Oh, if only I could go back to those days....." So I am making a promise to myself right now to put more effort into appreciating the present: to be grateful for all I have, including the luxury of being egocentric. My world revolves around me, Pru, and a low-maintenance canine. And in the big picture- thats a pretty good deal!

5 comments:

  1. I'm glad you were able to get your mind off of things for awhile by focusing on the fabulousness of being just a couple. I think in terms of travel with a baby/toddler/kid, you just have to set your mind to it and go. If you constantly put your plans on hold because its a lot of work to take a baby to a new environment, trust me, you'll never go. Besides traveling with your child someday will make sure they also have a love of the world. :-)

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  2. I definitely plan on traveling with my kiddos. My parents dragged my siblings and I all over and I think thats where my love of travel originated. At some point, I'm sure going places with my children will be just as rewarding and fulfilling as having just the two of us. But there will be changes and certain things that just won't work with children in tow.

    Don't get me wrong- I greatly look forward to dragging my kids all over too. But for now, I guess I'm just trying to focus on what can be awesome about NOT having them yet, in an attempt to stop dwelling on how much I wish I did...

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  3. Sounds like you have a fantastic deal, even though there are things you want to change about it in the future :) I hope that you and Pru are really enjoying the time ou do have together because I am sure you will look back on these days very fondly...

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  4. Travel now. That's my advice. I look back at all the traveling we did before kids and I don't regret waiting to have kids one bit!
    I have memories to last a lifetime and while I'm keen to start traveling with the twins, I'm so happy I took the years to travel without first. Good luck!

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